Dear Self, Will You Be My Valentine?

As Valentine’s Day approaches, the population divides into three camps – those who are super excited for the loved up day, those who couldn’t care less, and those who feel like worthless piles of poop. This blog is for those of you who fall into the latter camp.

To you I say, be your own Valentine. Go and buy yourself a teddy, a box of chocs, and a bunch of flowers. Go and get that beautiful dress you’ve been eyeing up for months. Wear it, feel a million dollars in it. Make yourself a special meal, treat yourself to a bottle of wine.

You see, we tend to put a lot of emphasis on external validation… If I lose 10lbs, then I’ll be good enough. If I get that job, then I’ll be good enough. If I get married, then I’ll be good enough. But I think we have that wrong.  I think all our validation should be coming from within. Not that external things don’t matter, but they should be the icing on the cake. We are good enough without any of those extra things. We are good enough simply for existing and being who we are. The world is a hard place, and people can be cruel. Sad and bad things happen all the time and it grinds you down. People seem to take that as evidence of being unworthy and undeserving, whereas I think it’s reason that we are even more worthy and deserving. Rather than waiting for someone or something to make us feel better, we should be making things better for ourselves. Now I’m not saying that we should all instantly think the world of ourselves, but just start being kinder to ourselves. And instead of taking every little imperfection as proof that we’re not good enough, try to remember that flaws don’t equate to failure or unworthiness.

You may not LIKE everything about yourself, but you can still LOVE yourself. Try to be gentle on yourself, more forgiving of yourself, less critical of yourself, and every now and again treat yourself. If we put all our hope and trust into external things then we’re bound to be disappointed. But if you become your own best friend, then no matter what life throws at you, you still have love.

So even if you get no cards on Valentine’s Day, three spots appear overnight, or your jeans don’t fit like they did, ALL IS NOT LOST! These moments and events do not define you. YOU ARE STILL SIGNIFICANT, YOU STILL MATTER, YOU ARE STILL GOOD ENOUGH.

But look, if you’re really worried about not getting anything on Valentine’s Day, go out and buy yourself a card now. Send yourself some love. And while you’re at it, send some to a few other people too – your best friend, a work colleague who’s been having a tough time, or that brother/sister you can’t be without. We all want to feel loved, so let’s remind ourselves and each other that, no matter what, we always have worth and we are always loved by someone.

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